804

Kettobashita Moufu (Kicked Away Blanket)

or

要らないよ 食べかけの借りた映画も
I don't need it, not even the borrowed movie I started consuming,
忘れたいよ 自分のものでしかない約束も
I wanna forget it, even the promise that's only mine.
求めすぎた 勇気なんて捨てたいや
I've desired too much, I wanna throw away even courage.
待ちくたびれた 久しぶりだねって言えた覚悟
It'd be best if this far too delayed "it's been a while" I've gathered the
courage to say
どうか思い出になんかしないで
won't be turned into a memory.

蹴っ飛ばした毛布
The kicked away blanket,
気配を探してる癖がついて
with a habit of searching for a presence,
温もり飛んでった 冷え切ったパンの耳 齧ってても
Even as I gnaw at the ear of a completely chilled bread devoid of warmth,
傷つくことでしか 自分を保てないのは嫌だよ
I hate how inflicting harm is the only way I can preserve myself.

ずっと解決が 答えじゃないことが
I've always known how painful it is
苦しいの わかってるけど
that the resolution is not the answer, but
無口な君 真似ても
even if I imitate the silent you,
今は緩い安心が不安なんだよ
the loose calm now is unnerving,
誰に話せばいい これからのことばかり
so who do I talk to? I can't just treasure
大切にはできないから
only what is to come, so
すぐ比べ合う 周りが どうとかじゃ無くて
it's not about the surroundings to which I immediately compare,
素直になりたいんだ
I just wanna be open about things.

冷たい匂いに負けそうになるくらい
Maybe I've gotten so used to the warmth
暖かさに慣れてたせいかな
that I may just lose to a cold smell,
触れた気体を 縒れた鞄に蔵って
storing away the gas I touched into the twisted bag,
君のくれたバッチ握って 張り裂けそうな声で
and grasping the badge you gave, with a voice about to burst,
少しでも起き上がれないかな
can't get up even a little, I wonder?

ずっと解決が 答えじゃないことが
I've always known how painful it is
苦しいの ! わかってるけど
that the resolution is not the answer, but
無口な君 真似ても
even if I imitate the silent you,
今は緩い安心が不安なんだよ
the loose calm now is unnerving,
誰に話せばいい これからのことばかり
so who do I talk to? I can't just treasure
大切にはできないから
only what is to come, so
すぐ比べ合う 周りが どうとかじゃ無くて
it's not about the surroundings to which I immediately compare,
素直になりたいんだ
I just wanna be open about things.

どれだけ複雑でも 辿り着いてしまうから
However complicated it is, we end up getting there, so
私は平気だよって わかって欲しいから
I'd like you to know that I'm fine, so
どれだけ単純でも 遠回して伝えるから
no matter how simple it is, I'd convey it in a roundabout way, so
君が どうかなのかを 教えて欲しいから
I'd like for you to let me know how you are, so
どれだけ複雑でも 辿り着いてしまうから
however complicated it is, we end up getting there, so
私は平気だよって わかって欲しいから
I'd like you to know that I'm fine, so
どれだけ単純でも 遠回して伝えるから
no matter how simple it is, I'd convey it in a roundabout way, so
君が どうかなのかを 教えて欲しいから
I'd like for you to let me know how you are, so

ずっと追いかけた 懐かしい匂いだけ
To be enveloped by just the nostalgic smell
包まっても 嫌になるけど
I've always been chasing after wouldn't feel right, but
少しだけ 不安だと
even with a little unease,
心地よくなる安心も 嫌なんだけど
the relaxing sense of calm also wouldn't feel right, but
誰に話しても これからのことばかり
no matter who I'd like to talk to, I want to just treasure
大切にしていたいけど
only what it is to come, but
すぐ比べ合う 周りが どうとかじゃ無くて
it's not about the surroundings to which I immediately compare,
今 隣にいたいんだ
I just wanna be beside you now.

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